A fine upstanding citizen
just kicked my ass
I was almost out the door
the guard was gonna let me pass
then another good Samaritan
went and told
and the place went cold
The officer responding kicked my ass
I was almost in his car
I thought I was safe at last
then the f.u.c. that worked me over
went and told the blue
he wasn't through
A cashier left her line
to hold me down
as all the honest shoppers were
gathering around
everyone was cheering and
I started thinking
maybe I'm not welcome here
Grandmothers and children
were joining in
'cause everybody wants to be a
fine upstanding citizen
I can't even remember
what I tried to steal
I thought I'd make just
one more appeal
But the officer responding agreed
they were upstanding
fists were flying and
most of them were landing
everyone was cheering and
I started thinking
hey maybe I'm not welcome here
maybe I'm not welcome here