Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
'Bout everything he's seen and done
The voice of fifty years experience
He's drunk watching the television
You know he's been around the world
Last night he flew to Baghdad in his magical armchair
With cigarettes and six pack, yeah
He just got back, the spit's flying everywhere
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
(Oh you're back so late)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
And how could you leave me here
So long with Uncle Walter? Yeah
Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
He drove his chair in the cavalcade
He's flown from South Africa to countries
Where they beat themselves on the backs with chains
There was a fleet of battleships and one reclining chair
Headed north on the Arabian Sea, now he's back to tell us how
He and his oldest boy Blair, they're getting rich
With a mail order scheme, oh, oh
Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
(We're so glad you're home)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
And how could you leave me here
So long with Uncle Walter?
Your Uncle Walter told me
Everything he'd do if he was President
Now what a perfect world this world would be
If he was President now, but he's not
And he sees the children smoking pot
He knows that in a moment they'll be
Shooting up heroin, teardrops in his armchair
A fifty minute lecture, tobacco juice rolling down his chin
Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
(Oh you're back so late)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
And how could you leave me here
So long with Uncle Walter?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Come on